


Do It For Him

by whatteam_voltron



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 10:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17507321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatteam_voltron/pseuds/whatteam_voltron
Summary: The truth about the Connor Project comes out. Evan is harassed day and night by strangers and students he sees in the halls. It gets a little overwhelming, especially with no one left to turn to.But then Jared makes a post online, claiming everything was his fault and Evan was threatened into participating. Evan can't exactly be grateful that he won't be the focus of bullying anymore, because he has to worry about what Jared is planning.





	Do It For Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I post so infrequently and don't finish things, fanfiction doesn't exactly pay money, y'know? So it's gotta come last in my priorities. But here's some more Jared angst.
> 
> WARNINGS:
> 
> Mentions of suicide (Connor's)
> 
> Implication of possible suicide attempt

The Murphys told.

Maybe it was an accident, maybe one of them confided in a close friend who they shouldn't have trusted, or maybe it was to hurt Evan like they hurt them.

It didn't matter why.

All that mattered was no one would speak to Evan besides the people on his lawn telling him he should die for what he did. He would be pushed around in the halls and even the teachers seemed to hate him.

He wished he still had Jared. He hadn't realized how rare he was. Jared had known everything Evan has done wrong and still stayed by his side. Jared couldn't have understood why Evan did those things, but it didn't matter to him. He supported him still.

Until, well.

Until Evan made it clear he didn't want him around.

He thought about calling him. He couldn't do it now. He knew what he would say. "Oh, sure, you're sorry now that you don't have anyone better to replace me with. Fuck off." Or maybe he wouldn't pick up at all.

So Evan endured.

He went to his classes, he tried to ignore the sneers as he weaved his way through the halls.

It had been a week since the truth leaked. He had made it through yet another day and was hurrying out of the building, glad school was over.

And then he landed on his face.

The kid who tripped him laughed. "Thought you could avoid the harassment? Don't you remember, you will be found?" He high fived his friend and walked away.

Evan looked up and they were already gone. However, he did catch someone's eye. Jared was staring at him, and he didn't look away when Evan looked up. Evan tried to read his expression. It seemed like he was making up his mind.

And then Jared turned and left. Guess he decided against helping Evan.

Evan got to his feet and ignored the tears burning in his eyes. He had almost thought for a moment that Jared would forgive him, be there to help him up.

He managed to make it home before dissolving into tears.

It was a few hours before he was interrupted. His phone went off, and he had gotten so excited that it might be Jared before seeing the contact. Alana? She had said she never wanted to even look at Evan ever again. He cautiously picked up.

"Hello?"

"You didn't make Jared post that, did you?"

"What?"

Alana sighed. "I don't know exactly what happened between you two or how much Jared knew, but I know that the post was a lie. I don't exactly want to talk to you right now, but I just can't figure out why he would _post_ that!"

"Wh- Alana, I-"

"And I figured you would at least find it easier to contact him, and-"

"Bu- I- don't-"

"I just don't think he knows what he's gotten himself into. Or at least I hope he didn't know."

"What are you talking about?"

Alana huffed. "I'm going to try to find him." The line was dead.

Evan furrowed his eyebrows and went to the Connor Project page. It was the same as before. He refreshed it and scrolled up and down multiple times. It finally occured to him that Alana may have deleted it. He quickly searched recent posts about the Connor Project and scrolled until he found a screenshot of what everyone was talking about.

"Hey guys,

This is Jared, the treasurer. I know you guys were told for a while that Evan was the mastermind behind all this, but now that word got out about how it was all a hoax, I can't let him take all the credit for fooling you.

Let's start from the beginning. First day of school, Connor kills himself. But before that, I made fun of him and he took it out on Evan. To apologize or something, he signed Evan's cast and then got pissed and stole his weird therapy note.

This is where it gets exciting. Evan skypes me, all worried because the Murphys assumed the letter to Evan was from Connor and they knew each other. They didn't give him a chance to explain and they invited him over for dinner. I thought it would be funny to see if I could get him to make up stories as if they were best friends. I came up with the idea that we could backdate fake emails as "proof." He wanted out, but I basically just threatened to tell the whole school about his therapy letter and his crush. Amongst other things.

So then Evan kept telling me how bad the whole thing made him feel. He wanted to do something for people who felt like Connor, or whatever. I had personally been making money by selling pins with Connor's face on them already, so I figured this would prolong the profits. Once the idea hit me, I wouldn't let it slide. Evan didn't want things to go viral or to start a fundraiser, I had managed to rope him into that by threatening to tell the Murphys what he had already lied about. I kept assuring him it would blow over soon, but then I put the video online and promoted it until it got popular.

There you have it. Evan isn't some scamming genius, he was just doing what I told him. I was blackmailing him at every turn, not to mention I had always made sure he knew I was his only friend and he would have no one to turn to if he didn't do what I said. He eventually gave in and came clean to the Murphys. About part of the story, anyways. Guess he figured out my game, or the guilt was too much for him to keep playing. Whatever the case, it's over now. And you should stop giving him credit for what I built.

Sincerely,

Me"

Evan had to read through it 5 times. It didn't make sense. What was Jared trying to do? Take the blame? Why would he want that? Wasn't he mad at Evan, happy to see him getting what was coming to him?

And this, this was much worse than simply claiming fault. If he had done that, apologized and said he had made Evan do these things, few would believe him. Everyone would still blame Evan.

This? This was _bragging_. He was taking the _credit_ , not the blame. He was acting _proud_.

Evan felt nausea settle in his stomach as he started to scroll through the comments. He knew if things had been bad when it came out that he was lying, it'd be a thousand times worse for someone unapologetic and claiming to do worse than what Evan had done.

"And then this pile of scum deletes the post when he sees that no one thought it was some clever move. Fucking Disgusting, he was surprised we hate him."

Maybe Alana's attempt at damage control had backfired.

"Anyone wanna leak his address???"

"I don't usually condone murder but damn I'd love to see this guy get killed and drown in his own blood."

"They shouldn't let him back in school."

"They should shoot him."

Evan's hands were shaking as he called Jared's contact. Straight to voicemail. If course, Alana must have checked that first.

Evan flashed back to earlier that day, when Jared was staring at him... maybe when he turned away he was deciding to help Evan after all. But at what cost?

Evan couldn't imagine how hard things would get for Jared. What was he thinking? How was he planning to get through life when everyone wanted him dead?

And then his thoughts screeched to a halt.

What if he _wasn't_ intending to get through life?

Evan's breathing picked up as he called Alana.

She picked up right away. "He's not at home. His car's gone."


End file.
